- Mary Magdalene hated religion until she met Jesus. It's true -- her abusive father was a rabbi, and she hated religion of any kind because of him. (In her early teens she practiced Shamanism though.)
- Jesus' teachers hated Him. You know, everyone expected Him to be a straight A's, but His teachers hated Him, and He was expelled from two schools alone. He was not allowed to go back until he was 11. Reason? When His teacher was teaching Him about the alphabet, (He was 6 years old at the time) He already knew everything. He told him that He was getting bored and wanted to "move on"! He was expelled from two schools for talking back.
- Apostle John the Beloved was extremely fem. He is the one sitting next to Jesus in the Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci! He always also preferred to hang out with the female apostles of Jesus. One night, all the men stayed at Jesus' house and prayed, while the woman went into the woods, lit a bonfire and did chanting and dancing. You can only guess who John went with -- the girls of course! Assuming John, often called "The Virgin John" is homosexual, he has been a huge gay inspiration! (He is only Jesus' favorite {or second, putting Peter first} male apostle!)
- If Jesus was a true rabbi, He would of been required to be married. Actually, this is true. He would of been required to be married by 20... and His ministry started when He was 30. Unless Jesus broke the law, He would've been married.
- The Virgin Mary traveled with Jesus all of His life. She was actually a disciple of His.
- Both Mary Magdalene's and Jesus' father died when they were 12. But, it was not the same year -- Mary was 3 years younger than Jesus -- pretty ironic though.
- Jesus wore nice clothes (fabulous, darling!). As JOHN states: "They said therefore among themselves, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be,” that the Scripture might be fulfilled which says: “They divided My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots.” Therefore the soldiers did these things." (John 19:24)
- Mary Magdalene had apostles of her own, after Jesus died. She began to have a following while in France and England. Fun fact: her "favorite" was a girl named Ruth.
- Jesus appeared privately to Mary Magdalene later on. Not only as it states in the Bible, but also in her older years. He only ever reviled Himself again to John the Beloved and Mary Magdalene after His resurrection.
- Jesus was fond of Mary Magdalene's wedlock daughter, Tamar. (Note: She was impregnated by rape, but I couldn't think of another word for that besides "wedlock".)
- Mary x Jesus' son was a hermaphrodite. (For those who don't know, that is a person who is neither/of both genders.) Reason is? People only generally back in the 1st century lived to an average of 44 years old. Mary was 30 at time, she was probably (AT THE TIME) too *old* to get pregnant. (30 years old?!?! Just beginning life! Not old at all! *Ladylike eyeroll*)
- Apostle Peter Simon was married, and had a daughter. His wife was named "Feberonia", and his daughter was "Petronella", a female version of the name Peter. Here is something interesting (sorta off subject): The Bible states that all of Jesus' apostles went celibate when they started following Him, as Jesus supposedly had instructed them to. But, Petronella is a female form of Peter, and as most of us know, "Peter" was Jesus' nickname for him, his original name being Simon. So, you really think that Peter Simon just randomly named his daughter a female form of a male's name? Hmm? No. Yet more evidence that Jesus was indeed married, and most likely not celibate.
- Nazareth was the backwater town to Galilee. Seriously, it was where all the poor people lived.
- Mary Magdalene funded all of the 12 apostles, and Jesus on their travels. No wonder He had nice clothes!
- Mary also loved to dance, as well as sing.
- Jesus could fore-tell His crucifixion as soon as He learned to talk. Also, as a child, He preformed many other miracles, not included in the Bible. He saved His half-brother James' life, by healing his venomous snake bite, and killing the snake, He turned dirty water into clean water, and one of His "friends" (I guess more like ex-friend) pushed Him off of the top of a two-story building, and He glided down, thus, surviving the fall. Etc. (This is in The Infancy Gospel of Thomas, only my favoritest gospel ever!)
Well, that is it. I searched "facts about mary magdalene" on the internet, to see who I'm competing with, and no one offers any substantial facts about our lady. I should do this more often. (Easy too!)
Thanks for reading,
~~Clarabelle
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